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Money

Marriage Ties Your Hands

Amazing the number of things you can’t do to protect yourself financially unless you have your husband's cooperaion.

You can't undertake estate planning on your own. You can’t write your husband’s will.  You can’t take his medical exam for life insurance or long-term care insurance. You can’t be his health care proxy if he doesn’t assign you durable powers of attorney to make medical decisions for him. The same holds true for financial decisions.

In other words, you need your husband’s cooperation to protect yourself against the financial challenges you would face if he were disabled or died.

If your husband doesn’t face the fact that he’s mortal, your hands are tied.

If your marriage ends in divorce, your husband will not be the person most concerned about you. If your marriage ends in death, it’s too late to do anything constructive about your financial situation.  

You expect your mate to want to protect you because he says he loves you. But let’s get real. A marriage is as much a legal and financial partnership with obligations on both sides. Because love assumes many forms, we can rarely be sure we’re ascribing the same characteristics to your love and his love.

If he won’t cooperate with you for the financial protection you need and deserve, it’s safe to assume that your definition of love doesn’t match his.

Money is Not about Trust

I met a financial advisor years ago who had the most seductively soothing bedside manner. He had been recommended by a friend who said this man was ‘really great working with widows’.

The advisor explained that it’s hard for women whose husband had managed the investments to understand how the market works. “Ultimately, it comes down to your peace of mind and the trust we establish in the relationship”, he said.

Read more: Money is Not about Trust

Legal Articles

  • What Women Need to Know Before Choosing a Lawyer +

    What Women Need to Know Before Choosing a Lawyer It can feel intimidating to talk to a lawyer. I’ve learned the hard way that if your lawyer can’t explain Read More
  • Be a Hero to Your Wife +

    Be a Hero to Your Wife I have a cartoon pasted above my desk showing two men in angel garb, each with a halo, floating on Read More
  • "Sign Here, Honey" +

    Every year, on or around April 15, millions of wives are asked by their husbands to sign a joint income Read More
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Marriage Articles

  • Marriage is a Financial Partnership +

    Marriage is a Financial Partnership What does it mean to have a financially intimate marriage? If couples achieved financial intimacy, wouldn't that do a lot Read More
  • Credit Score Predicts Money Compatability +

    Credit Score Predicts Money Compatability You’re in love. He’s perfect. Finally, a man who shares your values about life, work, children, family.You want to spend Read More
  • An Engagement Ring is not a Gift +

    An Engagement Ring is not a Gift An Engagement Ring is a Commitment to MarryDid you know that 26 percent of all engagements occur at Çhristmas time? Read More
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Wedding Articles

  • Talk about Money Before You Marry +

    Talk about Money Before You Marry  Talk About Money Before You Marry Your wedding is in six weeks. You’ve tried to talk about money with your Read More
  • Brides and Barbie Dolls +

    Brides and Barbie Dolls Brides and Barbie Dolls Hilary Price, a wonderful cartoonist, has a drawing in which a man is kneeling in front Read More
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Divorce Articles

  • Divorce Slams Karen +

    Divorce Slams Karen My friend Karen looked shell shocked. Her jade green eyes had dark circles under them. Her hands shook as she Read More
  • The Divorce That Wasn’t Personal +

    The Divorce That Wasn’t Personal Inge told her husband Harry she planned a face lift.  He said they couldn’t afford it. She thought they could; Read More
  • How Women Should Choose a Lawyer +

    How Women Should Choose a Lawyer It can feel intimidating to talk to a lawyer. I’ve learned the hard way that if your lawyer can’t explain Read More
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Finance Articles

  • Plain Truth about Financial Intimacy +

    Plain Truth about Financial Intimacy Financial intimacy is not about trust. It's about the relationship of two adults who choose to commit  their lives to Read More
  • Held Hostage by Your Husband's Superstition? +

    Held Hostage by Your Husband's Superstition? Some superstitions are harmless, like knocking on wood, carrying a rabbit’s foot or hoping that if you get on a Read More
  • Practicing Financially Safe Marriage +

    Practicing Financially Safe Marriage A Woman Needs to Participate in Marital Finances It’s not just first time brides who have trouble talking about money. Read More
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