When Leslie and Don married, she had a great sales job with an international start-up. She loved the travel, the pace and challenge of contributing to the growth of the company. Don had recently sold his software company to a competitor.
When they married, he wanted children right away; Leslie wanted to work a few more years. Don was charming, insistent, seductive. The baby was born during their first year of marriage. Leslie intended to return to work,
but Don insisted they had enough money so she didn’t have to work.
Leslie hadn’t managed her money well before marriage. Her credit wasn’t good. She was counting on high commissions and stock options to offset her modest salary . Unfortunately, she quit her job before either of these things could kick in.
When Don insisted on a prenuptial agreement, Leslie didn’t object. Divorce never entered her mind.
Leslie is now totally dependent on Don. She moved into his house when they married. He handles all their finances. She sees none of the bank or brokerage statements; they are addressed to him or sent to his office. She has a debit card which he checks daily. He insists on seeing all receipts and purchases. She has a Nordstrom card.
To an observer, Leslie appears to have everything. However, she has effectively been isolated and hemmed in by Don’s financial restrictions. If she tries to get more financial freedom, she may discover that Don is a clever and manipulative abuser who will claim he just wants her to have everything – that is, everything he will allow her to have.