Financial Intimacy Blog

It can feel intimidating to talk to a lawyer. I’ve learned the hard way that if your lawyer can’t explain things to you as if you are a smart 14-year-old, you should find a lawyer who can. A lawyer is supposed to make your life easier, not more stressful.

Credentials count, but this is about more than education and experience . The law is complicated enough; you need someone who can explain things to you in addition to being qualifed to advise you. In the event of divorce, or the death of a spouse, you will be working closely with the lawyer. You want things explained clearly to you because you’ll be emotionally upset. A lawyer’s jargon and lack of ability to communicate clearly will upset you even more.

For example, I couldn’t work with someone who is patronizing. Consulting a lawyer is already an unequal situation. You have a problem. You need a solution. You don’t need someone making you feel even more vulnerable. Many lawyers think that reassuring and protecting a woman is doing her a favor. I call that the ‘Don’t worry about a thing, dear’ attitude that keeps women from being able to make decisions. Many women want their lawyer to take care of everything. I’m not one of them.

I want a lawyer who listens, doesn’t interrupt me, doesn’t flood me with jargon,and shows up on time. I want information, an explanation of options, pitfalls, and costs.

Anyone out there know someone like that?