Who knew?

It never occurred to me to ask Mamushka, a local psychic, for financial advice. I always thought economists, and closer to home, financial advisors could steer me in the right direction.

So reading in the New York Times today that people are consulting Mamushkas of their own made me realize that I had overlooked an avenue for advice that might have saved my sensible, widely diversifed portfolio from tanking.

Looking at Mamushka, you’d never think she could be a financial guru. She lives modestly in a 1400 sq.ft house on a quiet street in Redwood City. True, she does have a shiny new set of tarot cards and just bought a top of the line static free Sony tape recorder for taping sessions so clients can listen again and again to her words of wisdom. If she is wealthy, she certainly doesn’t flaunt it.

When you’re desperate for financial guidance during these difficult times, even $300 for an hour’s intuitive consultation doesn’t seem like too much to salvage the rest of your life’s savings.

How can you compare the charts, graphs and software of your financial advisor with Mamushka’s soft voice, reassuring you that your cards show you are destined for wealth? You can’t really blame people for grasping at straws when supposed experts on the economy haven’t got a clue about what is happening, how long it will last, how serious it will be.

Apparently, men are more businesslike than women when they consult a psychic. Men ask rational questions like, What is your accuracy rate? Can you guarantee your advice? How do you get your information?

I suspect millions of women ask the same rational questions of their advisors. The problem is that neither psychic nor financial guru, pundit or banker really knows what’s going on right now.

Mamushka will give you a tape recording of hope. Save your money.

This entry was posted on Sunday, November 23rd, 2008 at 10:20 am. Visit the archives for all blog posts.