Could Marriage Be About Sex and Stuff?

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Oh, it’s so unromantic.

A recent study at the University of Michigan School of Public Health found that 27 percent of men and 14 percent of women undergraduates were willing to trade favors or gifts for sex. And although they weren’t hard up for resources, the students surveyed “recognized the value of this socioeconomic currency system.”

The study, led by Dr. Daniel Kruger and published in the prestigious journal Evolutionary Psychology concluded that “perhaps the ‘romance’ in romantic relationships facilitates stability by avoiding the recognition of exchanges”.

Could it really be all about sex and favors and stuff? Have we sugarcoated the barter system to fool ourselves about why we choose a particular mate? Does this subconscious equivalency meter govern our choice for marriage partner? Is romantic love no more than an alibi for instinctual behavior lodged deep in our reptilian brain?

“Call it crass, sexist or gender stereotyping all you want, but there are thousands of years of biological programming at work here”, says Dr. Chris Fariello, director of the Institute for SexTherapy at the Council for Relationships. He and other scientists believe that,regardless of our motivation, we’re hardwired to use our bodies as a bargaining chip.

Plain and simple, a partner who provides more resources — wealth, shelter, home repairs — is seen as more attractive and stands to reap more sexual rewards. “I don’t get anybody in my office who says, ‘My husband sits on the couch all day and eats bonbons, and I want to have sex with him all the time.”

Is the handyman with the fully loaded tool belt the human equivalent of the male bower bird ?

Don’t take my word for it. You can read the report at: http://www.epjournal.net/filestore/EP06204212.pdf

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copyright 2007 Helga Hayse