Tom interviewed Paul for a product development position. He was pressed for time. He had interviewed others and the company had accelerated the schedule for their IPO. Tom had some red flags about Paul, but his resume looked fine; his references checked out.

Tom hired Paul on a three month probationary period. Within a few weeks he knew that Paul wasn’t the person for the job. Do you think he spent hours thinking about firing Paul? Or how he could do it kindly?

Let’s say Tom is Teresa, and the same situation prevailed. Would Teresa use the same logic as Tom? How might her female empathy get in the way?

Teresa worried about Paul’s wife and kids. She worried about his ego, how he would feel when he was told he wasn’t working out? How would she feel about having to answer his questions? Would she feel apologetic or pressured to give him more information than he needed?

Kate White, Cosmo’s editor-in-chief, believes ‘confidence is sexy’ so firing with gusto when you know it’s best for your company is the right thing to do. White, formerly editor of Working Woman magazine, advises in her best-selling book Why Good Girls Don’t Get Ahead but Gutsy Girls Do: Keep your eye on the bottom line.

There’s no easy way to say goodbye. You can’t sugarcoat ‘getting fired’, ‘canned’, ‘discharged’, ‘dismissed’, ‘downsized’ or ‘dropped’.

Here’s where business and personal relationships can learn from each other. Is there a kinder, more respectful way to end something than by saying “You’re a great guy, but I don’t think this is a good fit.”

Semantics count. Reframing works.

What do you think?

This entry was posted on Sunday, August 3rd, 2008 at 12:41 pm. Visit the archives for all blog posts.