The stereotype of women 65 and older holds that they’re lonely, unhappy, insecure ,struggling through the rest of their life without the benefit of a mate. But the reality for many is quite different. There is even a new term for older women living on their own: senior singletons.

A study by the AARP of older women who live alone found that more are happier than they’ve ever been. Sixty three percent say their older years are the time to pursue their dreams.

For many of them, widowed, divorced or never married, it is the first time that they can truly put themselves first, doing what they want, when they want, and how they want. If they are in good economic shape and healthy, this time of flying solo can be a time of great personal fulfillment.

In contrast, men are far more likely to recouple after divorce or the death of a spouse. According to Stanford University researchers Paula England and Elizabeth McClintock, the older a man is when he marries after 40, the greater the chance that his bride will be significantly younger – whether that man is wealthy or not.

The researchers were surprised to find that men in their 50s marry women who average 11 years younger; in their 60s, they marry women who are 13 years younger. “The older men are when they marry, and it doesn’t matter whether it’s a first or second marriage, the more years they marry down,” England said.

When you run out the numbers for senior singletons, you can’t help agreeing with one of the women in my seminar who said “What men are looking for is a nurse with a purse.”

With both older and younger men chasing younger women, the partnering possibilities for senior singletons virtually disappear. Not that they care. They’re too busy enjoying the best years of their life.

This entry was posted on Sunday, July 27th, 2008 at 1:32 pm. Visit the archives for all blog posts.