I’m thrilled that you’ve found the man of your dreams. And I know how important your wedding is to you. But for the rest of us, it’s not a show stopper. Frankly, it can be tough on your family and expensive for your friends.

Picking out a gift is easy. I’ll just visit one of the stores where you’re registered, find out what you want that hasn’t already been ordered for you, and hope that one of the remaining items fits my budget.

A dress for the wedding? As long as I’m not one of your bridesmaids who has to dress exactly as you want, something from my closet will work. I’ll have to find the right wardrobe for the weekend event. A formal wedding and reception; informal weekend activities. I can probablymanage that.

It’s the travel arrangements and the weekend stay that’s the problem. Finding a direct flight so I don’t have to change planes (if they don’t cancel my flight) and still get there in time for the introductory cocktail hour on a Friday night. The pre-wedding reception doesn’t start till eight, so I might make it.

Confidentially, was nothing available closer to home? We all live in the San Francisco Bay Area. Yes, I know you’re sentimental about having met in Aspen, when you took a tumble on the ski slope, and he helped you up, and you skied together all day and you just knew you were meant for each other. But 50 people will be traveling to Aspen when you could have been married on the slopes at Lake Tahoe.

Of course we care about your wedding day, but you’re costing me a lot more than I intended to spend. I know you managed to get deluxe accommodations for all of us and the best meals and entertainment, but truthfully, the $850 it will cost me to be there ( not including the gift from the registry) is really a stretch, especially since your out-of- town wedding is the third one I’ve been invited to this year.

Of course, it’s your special day, and a wedding is (theoretically) once in a lifetime and the most important day in a woman’s life. Promise me, that if you marry again ( and statistics show that you might ) you’ll either pay my way for your wedding weekend or you’ll remarry closer to home.

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 29th, 2008 at 1:12 pm. Visit the archives for all blog posts.