Your wedding day is in six weeks. You’ve tried to talk about money with your fiancée for the last few months and he continues to find a way to shut down the conversation. You’re especially panicky because last night you had this conversation:

You: “Honey, our wedding is in six weeks and I’m feeling very uncomfortable because we’ve never really talked about money and how we’ll handle it after we’re married. “

He: “We did talk about it, sweetheart. Lots of times. Aren’t I paying for most the wedding expenses? And didn’t we agree we’d take care of the details after we get back from our honeymoon?”

You: “Yes, but money is such an important part of marriage and I think we should clarify some things before we marry.”

He: “Why? I love you; you love me. I’m starting to feel you don’t trust me.”

Big red flag here! Talking about money won’t get any easier after you’re married.

Consider this - The financial part of your marriage isn’t about trust. It’s about equal participation and financial transparency for both of you.

You have to be financially intimate because once you say “I Do”, you become one-half of a legal and financial partnership. Whatever your husband is doing financially, you’re doing it too.

Your fiancée shouldn’t be resisting your need and desire to discuss money before the wedding. You are acting responsibly and he’s already showing you that money is not an easy subject for him.

Ask yourself if there are any other things you can’t discuss comfortably before marriage. Whatever those things are, count on the fact that they’ll be bones of contention after you’re married. And you won’t have nearly the flexibility you have before the wedding.

Be honest with yourself . You may be marrying the wrong person. Going into marriage with red flags is like skiing downhill blindfolded. You wouldn’t do that either.

This entry was posted on Saturday, May 17th, 2008 at 10:02 am. Visit the archives for all blog posts.