When Women Opt Out
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Sometimes you can’t help overhearing a conversation.
Five women sat at a table at Starbucks, surrounded by their collective brood of six children. One of the women was clearly near her delivery date; two others were visibly pregnant.
From their conversation, it was clear that they were professionals who had opted out of their jobs to be with their kids. They talked about how great it was not to worry about billable hours and difficult clients and bosses.
One woman confided that her husband was angry about the financial pressure he felt at suddenly being the sole earner in the family. “He complained that it wasn’t fair; that we started out with two incomes and now I wasn’t doing my share,” she said. “As if there was anything more important than raising our kids. He makes me so mad.”
The others nodded their heads empathetically. Maybe they’d had the same conversation with their husband.
As they talked, I thought back 40 years ago when other mothers and I got together in each others’ homes. We were all going to school, planning to enter different professions. We dreamed of getting in and making it to the top. Many of us did; it was daunting, but exciting, and through it all, we knew we were breaking new ground.
Could it really be that this generation of women, the first to achieve success without having to fight for it, is now walking away, willingly, and without regrets? Census bureau statistics show a 15 percent increase in the number of stay-at-home moms in less than 10 years.
So here’s some food for thought:
Does that mean a 15 percent increase in men who are now shouldering a financial burden they thought their wife would share?
Did these women plan their exodus from the workplace by saving and investing the money they would have earned if they hadn’t opted out?
Will money worries suddenly loom large in these one-income marriages ?
Have the women adjusted their lifestyle to accommodate a change of heart they may not have anticipated when they married?
Did they include their decision to opt out in a prenuptial agreement?
If their husband is angry, does he have a right to be?
1 Comment
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When children are young and at a formative stage of growth and development,they need a parent,preferably a mother,to provide them with the love and guidance they require. I believe that a two earner family should be formed at a later stage in life,when the children become mature enough not to need the nurturing that only a mother or father can provide. Jim C.
Comment by Jim Charnes — April 4, 2008 @ 5:50 pm